I find peace in travelling on the Coquihalla Highway through Merritt, as long as I’m not the one driving. And in spite of the hectic nature of the summer of 2008, I had some great memories travelling to Kamloops with my superhero of a sister-in-law, Jen. Late night drives to Culture Craze HQ from Kamloops usually left us exhausted but we left her car knowing one another so much better than when we got into it. Those are certainly memories I will always cherish.

Just like most folks beyond their teenage years, I find myself thinking about the old family vacations: driving in the Ford with five people crammed into the (non-Crew)cab, just so we can get to the Azanzas for Christmas; piling into Grandpa Marvin’s camper for one last family trip to Florida; speeding along near Merritt, just in time for my tiny mother to get a badass speeding ticket.

These days, my travelling is in the form of Greyhound, looking out at the frozen waterfalls, snow-covered conifers, and snowcapped mountainscape. Truly, British Columbia’s beauty is something to quell an uneasy heart.

I managed to find a literary agency that looks pretty promising as well. Just need to figure out how to write a query letter… oh wait, that’s what my education at UVic is for, right? Hopefully they accept me.

But here? Here, all fashion was possible. I could delve into my inner punk (ala, the purple hair), or seek to follow a trend (the boots over skinny jeans thing), or even endeavour to create my old style of geek meets chic.

I’ve been in Burnaby now for eight months as of two days from now and I have yet to discover the inner workings of the fashionable twentysomething in the Lower Mainland. I stalk the halls of my university campus, peeking at the various trends: sweatpants from Lululemon, boots over skinny jeans, those legging things, tights under shorts with boots…

FASHION OVERLOAD PPL.

This is my brain on "FASHION OVERLOAD".

And to most that I end up asking, “Where did you get that?” I get a cold shoulder. No one will give up where they bought that cute bag or those earrings.

FASHION IS SRS BSNSS AND U CANT PLAY WIV US.

Okay, I give up on the fashion senses of this city. Clearly, I’ll never know where anything comes from unless it’s a recognizable label, and even then, why the hell would I want something that comes from a chain store? I’m tired of all of the UGG-boots, the Lululemon, Coach bags, and fake Chanel. Damn it, ladies, show me something I haven’t seen before!

Yes, I know: I complain now, but when I get back to Kamloops, it’ll be same ol’, same ol’, right? Hardly. At least my chicks in Kamloops are chic without trying.

Plugging "Sunken Treasure"

This is usually the point in the post where I say, “____ is a great friend of mine and I’d like to take the time out of my day and plug his awesome work.”

Well, I can’t say that ’cause it wouldn’t be true. Instead, I’ll just plug his awesome book anyway ’cause that’s how I roll.

I actually picked up a copy of “Sunken Treasures” at the Penny Arcade Expo 2008, which Wil amusingly signed as “<3 Wil”. Apparently, he has +3 to Awkward Situations; I think he took the Feat. D&D randomosity aside, I read the book almost immediately after I bought it (yeah, in the car on the way back home to Canada) and I LOVED it. I’d read Wil’s stuff before but it didn’t feel special like “Sunken Treasure”, as it was only supposed to be a limited time offer for the summer Gaming Conventions. Due to popular demand, you can actually pick it up online for a small price, even if you didn’t attend any of the ’08 Gaming Conventions in the States (you lucky bastards).

There’s the US print edition, the World print edition, and a DRM-free PDF version (because Wil loves us nerds and hates him some DRM somethin’ fierce). Pick this shiz up, read it until it falls apart, and then buy another four copies to give to your friends and family. Yeah, it’s that good.

Note: If you buy the PDF, don’t be an asshole and distribute it on forums or massively share it. Wil works hard to bring us awesome writing goodies on Geekery and if you blow it, you’ll just piss off the rest of his online following. As Wil says, “Don’t be a dick.”

And so, I decided that because I work at Best Buy, they’d give me a good deal on getting one of those shiny new netbooks. And, since I work in the computer department, I knew exactly which one I wanted to get my blue-manicured hands on: HP MIni 1035NR. The keyboard is 92% the size of a regular laptop and the screen sits at a comfortable 10.1″. It’s got a webcam built right in, just like most of the other laptops out there these days.

HP Mini 1035NR

I’ve been taking this netbook with me literally everwhere. I haul it to my classes, on the skytrain and bus, and even as far as the coffee shops downtown Vancouver (as they’re by far the nicest I’ve been to in the Greater Vancouver Area).

All in all, I’m really pleased with this netbook and, seeing as I’m such an HP fangirl, I’m even happier that I managed to support my favourite laptop brand.

So, if you’re looking to get a netbook, I’d recommend this one. It’s sleek, large enough to see without straining, and it’s got Bluetooth built right in.

Note: the Vivienne Tam edition is lovely to look at but it’s definitely not worth the additional $200, just for a red netbook. Get the black edition and save yourself some cash and a potential red-overload headache.

Happy shopping!

Space Marine - 5th Edition

Keep in mind the lore, or “fluff”, of the army that you’re choosing. It’s often a great way to learn your army’s place in the universe and how you can use them to the advantage of your future opponents. That, and well, GW tells a great story. For more on their lore, check out the Black Library through Games Workshop.

Which Army is Right For You?

Once you’ve weighed the pros and cons (as well as the lore) behind each of the armies that you’re initially attracted to, you’re ready to begin collecting the pieces of your army. The best way to do this is to pick up a box-set army from your local Games Workshop. With it, you’ll receive everything you need to get started, including the models and the Codex of Rules for your particular army. You will also need to pick up a Warhammer 40K Rulebook for the basic rules of how the game itself works.

Finally, before jumping onto the battlefield, pick up a copy of ArmyBuilder, which is an excellent way to automatically compute point values of Wargear, Upgrades, and Army Composition without you having to do the math yourself. If you use ArmyBuilder or something similar, you’re going to find that you will have fewer mistakes and much shorter downtime before army builds.

I won’t go over the basics of how to play a game of Warhammer because GW is way better at that. If you’re looking for a guide for getting started on assembling and painting the army you’ve chosen, check out my article on Painting and Assembling War-Games Miniatures.

Happy playing, fellow Generals.

Here you are, a newly recruited General for the armies of Warhammer Fantasy and/or Warhammer 40,000 and/or some other war-game that I haven’t mentioned, and you need to assemble your army for glorious battle. But, you don’t have the faintest ideas as to where to begin with all of your various sprues (unassembled plastic models) and metallic warriors.

First thing’s first, take a deep breath and remember that you are not required to have the best painted or best converted army right out of the gate. This will require three things from you: rudimentary knowledge of colour theory and lighting, as well as a lot of patience for both yourself (you’re learning) and the process (it takes a while). It will also require you to pick up the following materials from your local hobby store:

• Plastic cutters, to separate the pieces from the sprues and to snip chunks of flash off of your metal miniatures
• Super glue and/or plastic glue
• Modelling putty aka. Green Stuff (use the GW (Games Workshop) stuff, if possible, as I’ve found it to be the most pliable)
• Exacto knife with some extra blades (use with caution!)
• A set of small files to get rid of flash and flash lines
• Black Primer, from GW
• ‘Ardcoat, from GW
• Paintbrushes: one for base-coats, for medium detail, and fine detail
• Paint (use Vallejo or GW)
• Cup and saucer for the mixing of the paint

Find yourself a large table to set up shop and tell anyone and everyone in your house (including your pets) to stay away for fear of your wrath. I made the mistake of leaving my miniatures out around my dog when he was a puppy. He thought they were toys. I lost a squad of Space Marines to his tiny, gnawing teeth. Set out your shiny new tools and bust out the box that your army came in. You ready? Let’s get started.

Definitions You’ll Need to Continue

Sprue – all of your plastic and metal bits that are attached to one another, due to the crafting process

Flash – extra bits of model that are left over after you extract them from said sprues

Flash lines – ever present on your models, since no models are made in one piece. These lines really detract from the finished product, so make sure you get rid of them!

We’re going to make this into a basic tutorial so we won’t go into how to convert your miniatures into customized pieces of awesome. We will, however, go over how to assemble your miniatures and not have them fall apart before you have a chance to prime them for painting. Let’s go over how to assemble your basic plastic mini before getting into the complexities of metal assembly.

For plastic minis:

1. Cut the required pieces off of the sprue, using your plastic cutters, being sure not to cut the actual piece itself. Believe me, this is more difficult than it seems.

2. Slice off the extra bits of flash left over from your extraction process, being careful to cut away from your body and towards the table. As my good friend Nathan once said, “The hospital doesn’t sew flaps, just super glue your finger back together.” Super gluing one’s wounds is not a pleasant process. Lesson here is to not slice your fingers open.

3. Using a round file, gently file off the flash lines until it looks like the mini was always supposed to be one piece.

4. Use conservative amounts of plastic glue on the pieces that need to be put together. Careful not to get much (if any) on your fingers. If you do… don’t be foolish and try to wipe it off on your pants or tissue or whatever. Chances are, you’ll stick to everything. And that hurts.

5. Once your mini looks something like the picture, you can take a breather and wait for it to dry. I’d suggest at least an hour, but it’s best to let it set overnight before you get onto the priming process. Repeat the process for however many miniatures you need to assemble.

For metal minis:

1. Check “Plastic Minis” Steps 1-3.

2. Mix your green stuff: slice a small piece of the blue and yellow and start working it together between your fingers. You will need to use water from your cup (make sure it’s clean) to keep it from being to sticky. Set it aside. You’ll need it in a few minutes.

3. Check “Plastic Minis” Step 4, substituting Plastic Glue for Super Glue.

4. Grab that green stuff you set aside earlier and apply it to the seams of your previously glued bits. Smooth it down, using the flat side of your Exacto knife. Don’t use too much, or too little. Too much of it will look too bulky and too little won’t hold it in its place. Slice off the excess and allow the green stuff to dry overnight. No exceptions!

For all of the miniatures you’ve assembled, make sure that you’ve glued them to their bases by using Super Glue/Plastic Glue. This is a source of debate amongst hobbyists, but I suggest it only because it’s easier to hold onto your miniatures once you’re ready to paint them.

Priming

Root around your house/apartment for some spare cardboard, gather up the miniatures you’ve put together, and bring them and your primer outside with you. Why outside? It’s ventilated and you won’t spray a piece of furniture/wall by accident. Or, in the case of my first bout of priming, your father’s face. No, really, it happened, and his eyes were only saved by his glasses. We were happy for his terrible eyesight that afternoon, let me tell you.

Why black? Black does not show the imperfections in your base-coat. If you fail to paint a miniscule piece of your miniature and you’ve primed it black (as opposed to white), it will blend in and go virtually unnoticed.

Place the cardboard underneath your minis and spray in light bursts, not in a full-on blast. The light bursts will allow for a thorough coat that’s not too heavy in any one place. Once you’ve finished priming your minis, make sure you let them sit for thirty minutes. Don’t try to pick them up before then or you’ll smudge your priming job and you’ll have to re-do it… plus fingerprints.

The Base-coat

Get your colour scheme together and gather your paints. When doling out your paints onto your saucer/paint mixing container, make sure that you’re adding water to it. In my experiences, it should be “the consistency of cream”. Too watery and it won’t apply properly. Too thick and you’ll lose the detail. It takes practice to find that balance so don’t be frustrated if you don’t get it the first time.

Some people never go beyond the base-coat, as GW tournament rules only states that you need 3 distinct colours, to be considered a model that is ready to be fielded in battle. But you’re going to go beyond this, as scary as it may seem. Make sure that when you’re applying your base coat that you’re not over-painting (painting far beyond the boundaries of what’s being painted: ie., pants, shirt, etc.) or under-painting (not painting all the way to the boundaries). Instead, don’t panic if you go over but try not to. It takes a lot of patience and practice!

Let dry for an hour and then we’re ready to move onto the wash/ink/drybrushing.

Washes vs. Ink vs. Drybrushing

A wash is watered down pigment of any colour. An ink is watered-down, concentrated pigment. Drybrushing is a technique used by hobbyists mostly for terrain painting and fur textures. For our purposes, we’re going to use a wash, because it’s much less concentrated than the inks. I would recommend GW’s new Citadel Washes, not just because they’re name brand but because they’re the most amazing washes that I’ve ever used, including my own concoctions.

For this, you’re going to have to experiment with colour theory to determine what would be the best wash for your purposes. Remember to get the wash right into the crevasses – don’t be shy to use too much wash, as you’re going to be highlighted it back up anyway!

Drybrushing requires you to take a shoddy brush that has the bristles all pushed down and mangled. Dip your brush into the paint, take a piece of tissue and rub almost all of the paint off. Then proceed to rub the brush all over the parts of the miniature you want to paint with that technique. It’s an excellent technique to use for beginners but don’t get too attached to it. It doesn’t yield the best results all the time.

Highlighting

Take your base-coat colours and apply it to all of the parts on your miniatures that fall under the normal range of brightness. Mixing highlight colours from there is the tricky part. There are many techniques for painting the different colours and I won’t go into them here. I’m hoping to write an advanced painting article for those of you who want to know the secrets of mixing the perfect palette. For now, just add white to your base colour and continue to highlight your model, using your fine and medium detail brushes.

Don’t be afraid to highlight up through the whites but don’t get too liberal with the paint, otherwise you’ll have to re-wash it and try again. Keeping a steady hand is difficult, so balance the miniature either on the table or on your tummy (as silly as it seems).

‘Ardcoat! Or, “Let’s Play with Aerosol Lacquer!”

Once you’re satisfied with your paint job, the next thing to do is protect your miniature from the elements. The way you do this is by spraying ‘Ardcoat in the same manner as you did the primer. This will act as a lacquer and protective coat for your paint job, which means the paint will last longer and won’t chip as easily when you bring it to tournaments or your buddy’s basement.

Let dry overnight.

Storage and Future Protection

When storing your miniatures, make sure you put them in a place where children or pets can get to. Either put them in a china cabinet or a cupboard with doors. If you’re a really hardcore hobbyist, like my Dad, get yourself a custom-made cabinet with lighting and fancy glass shelving. Might be pricey. Failing that, just put ‘em up on a bookshelf and dust them regularly, if you’re not playing all the time. For transportation, get yourself a proper case with foam lining that cushion the miniatures.

“Dunking” a Botched Mini

Let’s say the miniature got completely screwed up, somewhere along the line. Your next best step is to “dunk” the little guy and try again later. To strip the paint off of your metal miniatures, use a combination of Pine Sol and water (3/4 Pine Sol, 1/4 water) in a plastic container. You can do the same with your plastic model, but don’t leave them longer than overnight because the Pine Sol will begin to eat through the plastic and you’ll lose the detail. For plastic miniatures, I would suggest brake fluid.

Take an old toothbrush and scrub the miniature under running water until its stripped of its previous colour.

At the end of the day, this is a long process that will take you many, many hours to learn the basics of. To learn advanced techniques, you’ll need even longer. Don’t give up on yourself if you’re not like the guys from White Dwarf right away. Have patience, trust in the process, and have a blast.

Update: Looks like it does!

I know, I know, I said I wasn’t fully behind his decision to become an RCMP officer, but I’m a good wife, at least in spirit.

June is fast approaching, and I have some decisions to make.

I’ve decided that in September, I’d like to go back to school. I applied to the University of Victoria, for their BFA in Writing. I’m in the midst of trying to determine whether or not I’m going to do it as a Major (Creative Writing) and a Minor (Professional Writing), or just a Major. However, in order to do that, I need to have money set aside for tuition and housing, neither are particularly cheap.

So, I’m planning on doing the good ol’ Walk of Shame and moving back in with my parents. At 22. And married. They’re really excited for it because I haven’t actually lived with them since I was 18 and never really had any issues with staying with them. It’s not that I don’t think it will be a good experience, it’s just that: a) I will not have a car; b) I will lack a sense of independence; c) Juniper is a lot farther away from civilization than I prefer.

Kamloops will be a good place for me to be while Mike is in Regina: surrounded by family and friends is better than being alone in a city that I barely know. I will, however, miss the excitement of living in the big city and being able to get anywhere in half an hour, even by transit. Transit in Kamloops is… lame. And time consuming.

At any rate, after Kamloops will be UVic. I hope.

Anyway, that’s about all I can think of tonight. I’d love to write more, but I’m way too ill. Time to sleep off the cold and hope to high hell that I’m better tomorrow.

Tonight marked the first night of many that I plan to spend re-working Instantiated‘s contents and its story. I figured that I’d give a bit of a teaser for the re-write, for those of you who were actually interested.

This story is written in third person, told from multiple points of view, depending on the character. It’s a cyberpunk, highly dystopic narrative, set in the Greater Vancouver Area in the year 2063. Main character’s name is Raxi Fairwater, and yes, it’s a chick.

Read on, if you’d like.

His footsteps were muffled by soft-soled shoes resembling pointe slippers. As the door opened to one of the homes embedded in the side of the concrete wall, he pressed himself against the wall, stuffed the pin-light into his pocket, and held his breath. A figure peered out, body hidden behind the faux-stone door. Satisfied, it slipped back inside and went on its way.

His breath came back to him slowly; his nerve was temporarily shattered. He knew what would happen to him should he be discovered amongst the ranks of the Undercity. And, as soon as they found out whom it was that let him in, well, the whole community would be up in arms. It would be a dangerous place to be. Best that he complete his mission and get the hell out, long before dawn woke its residents.

Straight down, left, left, up the first set of stairs. Or was it the second set? He shook his head as he continued down the narrow corridor, paying attention to keep his steps light and to not fall into the sewer river. The stone and cement that made up the external architecture of the Undercity was a marvel to behold for those who were privy to its contents. Gaining access to it, even if you were an applicant, was a guarded secret that only the residents knew. For outsiders who wished to tour its facilities, it was near impossible, unless you had someone on the inside with either a grudge or a soft heart. The former was far more likely than the latter.

Left.

Rounding a sharp corner, he found himself staring into the eyes of one of the residents. Panicked, he groped for his tranquilizer darts. When the resident failed to make a move, he realized that it was a statue painted to look lifelike. Its glazed over eyes were painted a bottle green, shining in the dimmed lights of the open area. Some kind of human scarecrow, he assumed.

Left.

This was a much more gradual turn but was somewhat of a chicane in its execution. He darted to avoid the crumbling cobblestone, revealing unsteady wood below. The air was much more pungent in this part of the Undercity but it wasn’t the smell of rotten sewage or of the filtration system that worked the main corridors. Instead, it was a mixture of something that smelled like incense and perfumed candles. It was oddly feminine.

First set of stairs.

Careful to move as quickly and quietly as possible, he failed to pay attention to the tripwire embedded in the wall. He stumbled, just as the alarm began to sound. He knew that sound would spell his doom and the doom of the one who let him in. He leapt up the stairs, two at a time, and reached the top, just in time to see door to her apartment open. In her arms was a weapon that he’d never seen before. He tossed the package at her feet and dropped to the ground, just as the weapon let off a shot. Hands behind his back, he felt her crouching over him, examining the package and deftly cuffing his hands.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a shock of long, blonde hair running up the stairs, weapon in hand, whispering fiercely for him to keep his eyes down and his face to the floor.

“What is this?” Blonde asked. “Is this another assassination attempt?”

Another? He found himself pondering who the assassin could have been. It wasn’t him or his company and he was fairly certain that the Undercity was not something that only the largest corporations knew anything about. Still, he kept silent and closed his eyes.

“No Corp has ever been as bold as to send us an amateur,” his target said. “I think I’ll take this inside and X-Ray it before opening it up. Take him to the lock up and call Rafe. He’s going to want to see this.”

“Don’t open it while I’m gone,” Blonde said. “If it’s toxic, you’ll need someone to administer an antidote.”

“Just take him. I’ll wait.”

His head disappeared under a mass of black cloth and he felt himself being led away. More or less, his mission had been completed and the Corp that had sent him would be satisfied with that, at the very least. Knowing that his life was more or less forfeit, regardless of whether he made it out alive, he darted ahead of Blonde, in an attempt to shake her. He didn’t hear the shot, but he certainly felt it.

The emptiness consumed as his consciousness failed.